For direct access use https://forums.oldunreal.com
It's been quite a while since oldunreal had an overhaul, but we are moving to another server which require some updates and changes. The biggest change is the migration of our old reliable YaBB forum to phpBB. This system expects you to login with your username and old password known from YaBB.
If you experience any problems there is also the usual "password forgotten" function. Don't forget to clear your browser cache!
If you have any further concerns feel free to contact me: Smirftsch@oldunreal.com

Silly Dawn - A New Uneral Experience

This section is intended for non-Unreal posts. Forum rules apply.
Post Reply
User avatar
Leo T_C_K
OldUnreal Member
Posts: 3316
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Silly Dawn - A New Uneral Experience

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Camera pans through a hallway, we see many doors, suddenly camera just clips through a door as if it was nothing and we see someone's personal room. Its only a little better than some PRISIN here. Very little space, nearly everything from METAL because METAL is expensive so they don't get to spend on anything else.

The place beholgs to the environMETAL TENORISTS group known as MY KNIFE.

We see a person sleeping on the bed. Marilyn "Silly" Brandon. "He" sleeps with high heels on. We see him dreaming, flashbacks come to his mind....

his childhood...oh so tragic

Separated from his best buddies "Confused John Travolta" when a SPAEC PIRATEZ attack happened on their colony somewhere in the milk shake galaxy. Another friend of his SALINE ARAN also got separated and taken byu the mothsmen, while Travolta was reportedly taken to be a spaec pirate himself, oh no....the terrible tragedy.

Later on he and his family fucked off to a place elsewhere somewhere in the GRYPHIN REGION, getting drunk on NALI WINE and dance parties with four boobed aliens...

but he found himself to be different, he passed out and suffered some amnesia, while all he remembers is someone vaguely telling him "you look like Marlo Brando...the distorted voice makes it difficult to hear so he hears sometimes in echo "Mario Brandlo", "Marilao BRamd" "MARILYN BRANDON"

And there we go...this memory made him wake up stoway on a ship with no recollection who he was except the name "MARILYN BRANDON".

They had too much NALI WINE and he started to identify as QUADRARY QUADSHOTTY GENDER and wearing high heels....

He started to be called "Silly"...

*bang* some kind of Quake wakes him up and its not the original Quake....

He hits with his heels a button and suddenly his bed slides into the wall, his pillows and SMARTYPANTS PHONE falls down on the floor and shatter. He remembers shit used to be worse when a previous revision of this [DEL]map[/DEL] place had a bed that just folded into the wall and squashed anyone in, including his love partners....

He screams "OH NO, my SMAAARTYPANTS PHONE, WHAT AM I TO DO NOEW??! MY UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR APP!!!! NOOOO!!! I WONT BE ABLE TO READ ANYTHING NOW IN THIS SECTORRRR AAAAAAA"

He does go to his table laptop and tries to order a new SMARTYPANTS PHONE as quick as possible, but finds out the only one they have in stock in the weekend is on the other side of the city. He RAGESZ.

"Oh god, this will be a tight fit if I can make it." *he orders the phone to be delivered to the store from the nearby storage, it tells him it will be there in an hour but they already close in hour and half. "OH SHIZNITZ SHOEZ STIFF POLES" he curses*

"I HAVE TO GET HURRLIED" he tells to himself.

He gets to the door and finds its jammed "YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING MEEE?! THESE AUTOMATIC HIGH METAL DOORS KEEP FAILING HERE, DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW REAL LOCKS LIKE THE NALI DOESZ?"

He grabs a blaster from his desk that just looks like the Quake 2 Blaster "WRONG FUCKING GAEM!" he notes

Then goes into the bathroom, he stares at his mirror and says "WHAT AM I TO DO AGAYN??! TELL ME MIRROR."

*he waves his hands and accidentaly triggers the blaster which shoots a hole in the ventilation system*

"AH THANK YOU MIRRORWEBSITE FOR YUR ANSWER" says Marilyn

He climbs on his sink and jumps from it, making it tilt and he slips and trips over the toilet and ends up in the ventillation system. "OH DRAT DARN"

*he starts smelling some strong odors as he climbs the vent and starts to get delusional, some fumes make him hallucinanante*

He opens a hatch where he can reach it that joins to another person's room next to him. He sees Confused John Travolta at the mirror.

"John? Is that you? I can barely remember you, I thought you went with teh SPAEC PIRATEZ!?"

*the image of John fades out making it clear it really was a halucinacinacitation...*

"No, I belong to the SPIZE GIRL PRAIRERETES." says the girl

"And you better leave here you creep, you spied on me pooping didn't you?" she continues

"NO, ITS MY DOOR AGAIN IT GOT JAMMED AND I HAVE NO TIME I NEED TO GET NEW SMARTYPANTZ PHOEN RIGHT NOW, MY UNIVERSUM TRANSLOTOAR APP IS GONE I CANT LIVE WITHOUY MY SMARTYPANTZ PHOEN!!!"

"I don't care, IM GONNA KICK YOUR BUTTZ" "IF YOU HAVE MORE OF THEM THAT IS!"

"BIATCH!" He screams and leaps out of the vent shaft, choking her while she kicks him in boob-balls.

*he stumbles in pain out of the bathroom and finds a badass double barreled shotgun and QUALITY ASSURANCE cannon just sitting on her bed*

"AHA!" *he grabs the weapons and stuffs them somewhere into his butt, except he decides to pull out the QA CANTON*

"Let's see if you get quality approved BITCH" he aims the gun and points at her while she screams wide eyed "EHEHRYYAAAAAAAAAA"

*he pulls the trigger and the QA cannon reports "Does not match quality standrad, prepare to pull trigger again for instant trashificatination"

*he pulls it and she gets immediately thrown into the sewage system and compacted*

"THERE YOU GO GIRL COLLECT SOME SPICEZ"

Marilyn gets out of the "appartiment" and heads to reception where he says "GOTA GO NOW BYEZ NEED SMARTYPHONEZ STOER TO CATCH IN TIME NOW"

The receptionist shouts back "DONT FORGET TO BE BACK ON TIME FOR THE CURFEW YOU DUMB FUCK"

Marilyn runs outta the building and runs so fast that her/his/it/? high heels catch fire immediately....

"OH GOD, I better head strtaight for the subwayz"

To be contiunued...definitely....

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32382631
User avatar
Leo T_C_K
OldUnreal Member
Posts: 3316
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Re: Silly Dawn - A New Uneral Experience

Post by Leo T_C_K »

You are still being Marilyon Brandon. This contuines compeLETLY normally from the last time...

So you enter the subway and you're immediately bothered by COVID 1900C rules being present that everyone is being hysteric about. Geez, you heard Na Pali didn't have those rules, you should have fucking moved there ages ago come to think of it, why did you have to choose this mostly formerly abandaoned planet is beyond you.

Well, come to think of it, probably so na pali wouldn't be polluted with human civilization destroying the nature which is why the conflicts with spaec piratez began as they hated NATURE in the MILKKYWAY COCACOLTA GALAXY and because your people lived IN HARMONY with the nature you had to get the fuck out. But then they started building these expensive METAL structures here and it's not that better although they don't pollute the environment as much as ON EARTHZ and other shitty GARBAGE HEAPS in that FORMER GALAXY.

But you think to yourself the COVID 1900C situation must be organized somehow by the spaec pirates and you know that they already infiltrated this soeciety in SEKRETZ and will try to destroy it. If Confused JOHN is still with them, he must either believe their lifes or think he's too much BATass to actually care.

"AWWW FUCK IT?! THIS IS TAKIN' AEONS NOW LIKE AEON FLUXX. IM GONNA JUST GET THROUGH THOSE PEOPLE FAST CREATE PANIC AND SHOOT WITH MY SHOTGUN INTO THE CEILING LIKE SOME MFUCK"

*he grabs the shotgun, aims it to the ceiling and out comes a PEACEMAKER*

"WHAT?! I HEARD THESE GUNS CAN BE LOADED WITH ANY TRASH BUT THIS IS A NEW ONES FOR MEI!"

*the ARTIFICIAL CARDIAC PEACEMAKER lands on the floor in the tunnel where all the people are waiting on the platformz and it opens up, releasing PACE ROCKETS INTO THE AIR AND EXPLODING TERRIBLY*

*LIMBS FLY ALL AROUND AND ORGANS AND A PIECE OF FOOT LANDS IN YOUR MOUTH AND YOU START INSTINCTIVELY CHEW ON IT*

"Oh god, I killed all those innocent people haven't I?! WELL LIFES A BITCH AND SHIT HAPPENZ SO"

*he steps into a train to get to the other side of the city, obviously noone stopping him because he'sa eh cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything*

You see an abandoned phone lying on the floor, it is not the smartypants phones type but what the heck, you grab it and you look up the phone number of that company that sells the smartypants types and you just call while you exit.

"SO GUIZE, IM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THI CITY SO WHERE YOU GUZ AT NOW?!!!"

"The street VANGUARD AVENUE number 666/666 MY FRIEND, YOU CUNT MISS IT"

"Oh I see that street all the way there but its very LONG like FUCK, so what side are you AT? IS IT TOWARDS THE BIG AIRPORT?!"

"Yes, you could...say it that way, just go straight to the left"

So you go to the left, taking a shortcut because you've been before at this airport, you arrive at the airport but you see no signs of the company nothing. So you call agayn.

"I don't see you, I'm at the airport, where are you exactly?"

"*chuckles with laughter* oh, well, do you see those blue p0layershp textured buildings somewhere? That's where we are and it's all the way at the end of them."

"But that's not even on this street, this street is in fact a highway here, how am I going to cross this traffic here there's no crosswalks?"

"That's up to you, just run across it, hehe, good luck oh and by the way we close in 5 minutes, counting, if you don't make it in time we just close the till, also what was it you ordered?"

"I'm GOING FROM ALL THE OTHER SIDE OF CITY, I EVEN KILLED PEOPLE JUST TO BE ON TIME HERE WHICH TAKES A TOLL ON ME AND YOU TELL ME THIS?! I ordered the SMARTYPANTS PHONE WHAT ELSE!"

You make it across the highway by dodge leaping across like in some shitty MATRIX knockoff movie and make it to the entrance of the road to the building complexes and you make that clear to the CLERK JERK.

He responds
"Oh but I don't have any smartypants orders listed here, but well come, I will ask COLLEAGUE, we're waiting for you...in the test chamb...I mean here the last test building 666/666 hehehaauyhaeaehuehue"

*you run like there's no tomorrow, nothing left of your high heels and you finally make it in*

At the till, an EVIL CLIFFYB with newyorker jeans is STANDING!

"Now, I thought you will not make it, huh... well *he holds the smartypants phone*"

"THATS IT THATS MY ORDERED SMARTYPANTZ PHOEN GIMME"

"Not so fast, I need your order number."

"WHAT?! I HAVENT NOTED IT DOWN IN THE HURRY, I BARELY MADE IT I KILLED PEOPLE YOU KNOW THAT ALREADY"

"Yes yes" *i should note that down for the feds of course* he whispers

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

"Oh nothing, but really if you don't give me the number the system won't let me in"

"I CAN SHOW YOU MI YD RIGHT NOW, I CAN GIVE YOU THE PHONE NUMBER TO VERIFY AND E_MAIL ADDY, SO WHATS THE PROBLEM?!"

"Oh well, there's really nothing I can do..pity."

"YOU BETTER BE KIDDIN ME YOU FUCK UGLY NWEY YYORKNER EVIL CIFFTLYB!! I WILL COMPLAINT TO YOUR BOSS"

"OH NO DONT COMPLAIN TO MARK REIN PLEASE, NOTHING BUT THAT! Ok DuDEBRO here's the deal...err what was your name again?"

"Marilyn Brandon you SILLY"

"Okay...I don't have it here but if I reset the system....AH THERE YOU ARE MARILYJIN I SEE YOU RIGHT HERE, OKAY ITS YOURZ NOW!"

*he gives you the SMARTYPANTZ PHONE and smiles embarassingly*

You walk out a store and Mr. Profit appears and adjusts his tie "Quite a nasty piece of jobosh you've done back there, I am IMPRESSED!"

"Who are you? You from the feds?! I was in a hurry."

"No no, but I know of your...lost friend...maybe there are ways we can...work together..."

"WHAT HAVE YOU DOEN TO HIM?! CONFUSED JOHN"

"Nothing, my ally, I have brought him here to continue on your quest with you, it was one of his wishes after all and after he's done some great JOSH for me, I offered him I'd take him to you."

REJOICE! YOU HUG CONFUSED JOHN AND OFF YOU GO INTO FUTURE ADEVNTURRUEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32402533
User avatar
Leo T_C_K
OldUnreal Member
Posts: 3316
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Re: Silly Dawn - A New Uneral Experience

Post by Leo T_C_K »

User avatar
Leo T_C_K
OldUnreal Member
Posts: 3316
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Re: Silly Dawn - A New Uneral Experience

Post by Leo T_C_K »

latest chapter...luke is brought back

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36927268
User avatar
Leo T_C_K
OldUnreal Member
Posts: 3316
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Re: Silly Dawn - A New Uneral Experience

Post by Leo T_C_K »

User avatar
Leo T_C_K
OldUnreal Member
Posts: 3316
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Re: Silly Dawn - A New Uneral Experience

Post by Leo T_C_K »

User avatar
Leo T_C_K
OldUnreal Member
Posts: 3316
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Re: Silly Dawn - A New Uneral Experience

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Anything else ?”