Update from DieHard

[Hyper]

I wrote an update about Brecht van der Sande, better known as DieHard at my website. This forum does not like http links without an s behind it, so if you're interested you may copy the link to your URL bar and press enter: http://www.hypercoop.tk

It has been quite an emotional and not everyday piece to write. If you have something to write about DieHard, feel free to add your messages here below in this thread. I don't know if DieHard will read it but if he can he will probably be happy to read something back from the ones he used to share his love for the game with.

Thank you DieHard for trusting me with your files, sharing your story with me and allowing me to publish about it. Thank you Smirftsch for getting this off the ground.

[Hellkeeper]

Jesus fucking christ.

[Leo T_C_K]

I know about his condition but I did not know things have deteriorated this bad so far. I am not sure how I feel about medical euthanasia. I think your post would have done less without umm...well nevermind I am not going to make this sound disrespectful. It is his choice and if he feels like this is the only way, so be it.

I honestly am out of words and correct emotions to express this. I hold him somewhat close myself and I really find it regretful that I couldn't get any word from him for years end and that I wasn't informed. I appreciate everything he's done for the community and that he allowed me for the very first time, to have a space and room to operate in, host my own projects and even doing history research and preservation, be it of old maps/mods or even unreal alpha demo versions/leaks and what not. To make those steps was a bit step on itself. And it was very beneficial for everyone. Before that I mostly operated on public host spaces like esnips etcetera...which is funny.

Now for the next thing:

My still unanaswered question is why did diehard's site come back temporarily after 2018 or something, I forgot when. I was even able to login to my own account and to FileTransport (which you fail to acknowledge that all the files were managed there by me, even when I gave you the initial password that diehard himself has provided to me) although I believe I had to change everything to be not capital in the login details or something like that. But I was still able to get in and then the site shut down yet again just as I was busy making the full backups (which failed due to that reason).

This really doesn't make me feel easy and the way you treated the problem, telling me that it was my responsibility to keep 100 percent backups when you know I myself suffered difficulty that was out of my control and power and I lost most of my posessions in the process.

The reason I'm bringing it up here is because you did not answer me further privately.

I thank you for providing me with a backup of my hosting space, but I also was in charge of the other one and it had some backups that were not entirely for public consumption as such and allowed me to get people to put their files there (for me and us in general). It contains many of the other unreal psx archives and even a couple of cancelled games and what not.

I just need that full backup back.
And that is what I insist on. You are basically holding something hostage that was mine already. I do have some copies but not a 100 percent backup of it all intact, like you do now.

I find your behavior disrespectful towards me as you bluntly told me that you find what I said to be just "trust me bro" matter. When I told you even the most of the directory contents that was there and you seemingly refused to even consider going over every file/directory with me if you don't trust my story. DieHard didn't put any files there at FileTranport, he only gave the means to an end. It was the backup place and place where I could give trusted people access, but it was me giving that access. For general uploads he had something else, this was only related to me and my preservation efforts.

You basically go like you provided me with this, I should be thankful but instead I ask more of you. No. I was thankful and I am thankful but you're taking something that wasn't in your control/grasp until now and I have my things in there. That makes it different. Its not you who is giving something, something of your own. You hold something.

That stuff that you hold are the original archives that allowed for many of the community content to thrive for years, stuff from beta demos and what not. I was the one making it happen. It often spread through other people like Delacroix, sometimes in an unfortunate matter in repacks with some inacurracies. But this is the actual source. There might be few things we have currently missing and I just need that thing transfered over to go over it.

EDIT: even those some directories there might contain names or nicknames, it was meant to be the anonymous space, in case the persons didn't want necesarily to have their names revealed for one reason or the other. So those were definitely not uploads from other people for their own hosting space, the hosting stuff was only under Hosted and me and Creavion were the only ones and Creavion didn't end up using that hosting space in the end anyways...so there you go. There's nothing I am hiding or lying about and you telling me that I am "out of luck" if diehard won't respond further, that is really not nice.

[Leo T_C_K]

I apologize for bringing that hosting issue up in this thread. I just didn't know how else to get the attention of hyper again because he seemed to ignore it and in the meantime posted this thread. Either way DieHard replied to him and we solved the issue already.

[Smirftsch]

I feel very sad every time I think about him and his situation, but despite not being able to comprehend what he is going through I can fully understand his decision.
The only thing I can do is to help yet wherever I can and to have the honest wish that whatever comes when our time is over that it is better than now.

In a lack of words, I can't say anything more with deep respect:
Mate, I wish you strength for this step, my thoughts are with you.

[Leo T_C_K]

I was thinking about it further and I think in my situation I would not have chosen for euthanasia if I was in his place..however...if he doesn't have anyone that can take care of him or doesn't want the burden I can understand.
If I was his family however I would have tried to convince him not to do it I think....

anyways...I hope he won't suffer much before the end..

[Buster]

I really don't know what to say. Diehard hosted all the files for my site, Gatherstone - Buster's Unreal Gold Site, for several years. Mars and CW had a few tournaments, etc. We used to talk frequently, and then nothing. I wish I was hearing better news. First, it's Sinjidog and Good Ol' Taco who die during covid, and now it's Diehard. The old guard are almost all gone. Phuck, I'm crying. OK, I've got to go. Love you bros.

[Leo T_C_K]

I really don't know what to say. Diehard hosted all the files for my site, Gatherstone - Buster's Unreal Gold Site, for several years. Mars and CW had a few tournaments, etc. We used to talk frequently, and then nothing. I wish I was hearing better news. First, it's Sinjidog and Good Ol' Taco who die during covid, and now it's Diehard. The old guard are almost all gone. Phuck, I'm crying. OK, I've got to go. Love you bros.

Yea its really dismal man...it feels like we're all survivors of some great devastating war and our numbers are thinning.

[Hyper]

Most people who went inactive or missing are probably perfectly fine. They probably just got other interests or got on the treadmill called real life with time sinks like careers, kids, significant others etc.
People like }TCP{Wolf, }TCP{Carnage, PiT{LoD}, Killroy, Joss, Zombie, Winged Unicorn, Boodaflow, Smartball, Oblivion are probably fine even tho it has been years since I saw any activity from them.

But I prefer knowing what happened instead of guessing. Even when, in case of DieHard, the news isn't good.

[Hyper]

I just got this in my recommended.

I'm glad that Brecht chose to let us know about his situation and not just disappear without a trace.

[Leo T_C_K]

I just got this in my recommended.

I'm glad that Brecht chose to let us know about his situation and not just disappear without a trace.

But sometimes you aren't given a choice to let someone know and you do disappear without a trace, just like me in 2019...

but yes

[Matrix224]

I can't say I personally knew him very well (or at all really), but I certainly know about what he has done and appreciate what he has done for the community over the years. It is always unfortunate when it comes down to this, but I respect his decision that he has made. A loss of life will always be a loss of life, and there is no need to minimize that based on personal rapport with the individual.

Most people who went inactive or missing are probably perfectly fine. They probably just got other interests or got on the treadmill called real life with time sinks like careers, kids, significant others etc.
People like }TCP{Wolf, }TCP{Carnage, PiT{LoD}, Killroy, Joss, Zombie, Winged Unicorn, Boodaflow, Smartball, Oblivion are probably fine even tho it has been years since I saw any activity from them.

But I prefer knowing what happened instead of guessing. Even when, in case of DieHard, the news isn't good.

I can't speak on all of them, but for Smartball at least, I can assure you he's doing fine. It's exactly as you speculated that he has just moved along on the treadmill of life. Hopefully it offers at least some consolation to know that.

[Spike]

Diehard my buddy, thank you for all of the work you have put into this game, words alone can not express the care you have for it. Everyone here at >K·§·A< appreciates the work and dedication you have put in and the fight and struggle you have been through. I am so very sorry to hear this news from you and can not even begin to understand what you are going through. You have always been someone on this Forum and someone from the older generation of the community, I am glad you chose to let us know all of these things and it is hard for me to read such information from another community member.

I hope everything goes well for you my friend, I hope you finally find that peace.

As for Matrix's post above, Smartball is doing just fine, Boodaflow is also just fine and living his life, Joss as I last heard from 2023 is also doing well, Winged Unicorn the last i heard is also on that journey through life. Hopefully that helps out a bit for those wondering on those few.

Thank you again Die Hard for everything.

[Leo T_C_K]

Diehard my buddy, thank you for all of the work you have put into this game, words alone can not express the care you have for it. Everyone here at >K·§·A< appreciates the work and dedication you have put in and the fight and struggle you have been through. I am so very sorry to hear this news from you and can not even begin to understand what you are going through. You have always been someone on this Forum and someone from the older generation of the community, I am glad you chose to let us know all of these things and it is hard for me to read such information from another community member.

I hope everything goes well for you my friend, I hope you finally find that peace.

As for Matrix's post above, Smartball is doing just fine, Boodaflow is also just fine and living his life, Joss as I last heard from 2023 is also doing well, Winged Unicorn the last i heard is also on that journey through life. Hopefully that helps out a bit for those wondering on those few.

Thank you again Die Hard for everything.

Spike? I haven't seen you around for like...forever. oh well I see you posted in Joje's thread in 2022. I must have skipped over that.

[Hyper]

Brecht passed away this afternoon at a moment of his choosing. I hope he is in a good place now, but he is at least without suffering.
I burned a candle and listened to the beautiful "Into the West" as I cried my tears about the happenings. He will not be forgotten.



If you like to see Brecht's work in action, get the full texture pack containing all of his work + the ones that Ahaigh01 finished. This makes his Unreal ReTexturing Project complete.
https://www.moddb.com/mods/unreal-hd-te ... tatextures

[deathpax]

Rest in peace buddy, you will be missed.

[Spike]

Goodnight my friend. I hope you are at long last in peace.

You will never be forgotten.

[wfank30]

Rest in Peace fellow Unreal veteran, as long as the community exists you will forever be in our hearts <3

[Hellkeeper]

I can't imagine the amount of suffering needed to make one consider this option. I hope he's in peace now.

[vbdasc]

R. I. P. man. I didn't know you personally, but I was a serious user of your web sites. This thread was heartbreaking, and it reminded us all about the temporary condition of our own lives. Thank you and farewell.

[Blu3Haz3]

His condition almost sounds like Huntington's disease, it's sort of the same path. You know you've got it, it's just a matter of time before it begins to really cause you trouble. Rest in Peace DieHard...

[ahaigh01]

I’m really sad to hear about Diehard. We owe him a great deal for the amazing contributions he made to Unreal. His work lives on!

[Leo T_C_K]

Rest In Peace. Heaven For Those Who Seek Peace. Maybe there should be a custom version of Sunspire with DieHard's tribute now? Just an idea.

[Smirftsch]

Sorry for joining in so late here, but I needed to gather myself a bit first.

Still don't know what to say to be honest. 1000 words come to mind, none fitting. But to say the least, you won't be forgotten!

[Oblivion[CW]]

Awe man. I know I'm also late to this but I don't check the forums very often. I try to drop by every now and then to check things out. I worked with DieHard years ago doing a Christmas map with his high rez textures and the moomooland xmas mod. He was a really cool guy and fun to work with. Imma miss him .