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I might

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Leo T_C_K
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I might

Post by Leo T_C_K »

I might be gone in few days or end up in a tent or something in a bit, so please keep that in mind that I will not be seen around most likely and it won't mean I "ran away" or whatever.
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Leo T_C_K
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Re: I might

Post by Leo T_C_K »

It seems the tent will happen 100 percent. It was however meant to be a temporary solution and something doable through the summer. However now my benefactor informed me that he's cutting off communication with me forever and forbids me from contacting him again.

I did not want to make any details public due to possible abuse and stalking...we had an insurance issue lately that prevented us from completing our goal *for the moment* but there were other options *elsewhere* on the table. But it seems like he interpreted it like there's no end in sight and zeur's message only put that final nail in the coffin there.

So yea....

"THIS IS GOODBYE"

And its none of my fault really. Because I did go out of my way to contact people and companies...I found most of the needed information, sure zeur did the further talking but I managed basically all the initial contacts and everything. And now we're truly fucked. This was not meant to be a goodbye.

You all think of me as worthless trash anyways.

Good fucking bye...

betrayed over and over again...people not sticking to their promises while my entire plan hinges on that...
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Leo T_C_K
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Re: I might

Post by Leo T_C_K »

I just get all the blame in the world put on me in the end. Just count how many times I was accused over the years by various people.

While I was the one barely holding everything together...do you know what its like to live with someone like zeur? How many unforeseen problems that brought? But its not all his fault either. EVERYWHERE in the world rules have been tightening on various things and someone like me or him doesn't fit into the cracks so on top of our impossible situation it makes it DOUBLY IMPOSSIBLE.

I'm sick and tired of people like db99 saying stuff like "oh you keep complaining about that landlord, well he needs money too you fucktard"...
No, that's not what it was about. That guy was a greedy prick who did not invest into the house at all and let us do everything in practice and *yet* claimed we owed him money when he overcharged us in the first place. But it went better over time with him. He did do damage to us and in the end we won in the cases with misdeamenors against him and he had to pay a fine.

BUT THEN WE HAD TO LEAVE NOT BECAUSE OF HIM NOT BECAUSE OF LocALS BUT BECAUSE OF CORRUPT JUDGE THAT THOUGHT SHE CAN GET ME FOR SOMETHING EVEN THOUGH MY PROBATION TERM WAS ABOUT TO EXPIRE, BECAUSE SHE SAW THERE WAS MISDEAMENORS CASE INVOLVING ME AND THE LANDLORD AND THOUGHT SHE CAN USE IT TO GET ME

So...I DEMAND APOLOGY. Because of people who stick their noses into my life and have no clue...who pull out the RANDY PITChforks ALL THE DAMN TIME.

I need help but I know I won't get it from this shitty community...dear god.

WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS? WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE TO PRESUME ITS ALWAYS ME WHO IS AT FAULT.

Don't you think someone who went through as much as me should get treated differently? I could have been THAT VILLAIN that they say I was. But i wasn't. I did not make revenge in the end. I could have obligerated everyone who ever wronged me. EVERYONE.

I could have done what I got accused of as revenge and I didn't. But I SHOULD HAVE, seeing where all this has been leading to.

I should have kicked trash all around, because that's what I would fucking like to do...but unfortunately I am in control of myself and I don't do such things anymore. I once did...in anger kicked a garbage bin around and such things all those years ago.

I became a better person and I still get punished in the end.

EDIT: Fuck all restraints...fuck this society too and everything its like Stockholm Syndrome...

edit2: I don't even have it inside of me anymore...all I can do is rage INSIDE me...but it won't get further than that....
I mean even if I wanted to I don't think I would be capable of some grand revenge or something...not after everything that happened and how I changed and discovered things...

here...have a song that partially fits all this



"I can't breathe I need to break free from the anger that is constantly inside of me" btw the first time he says "inside me" when its just shinoda but the lyrics on the screen don't reflect that in this video...
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Hellkeeper
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Re: I might

Post by Hellkeeper »

I'm amazed someone unironically illustrates their feelings with Linkin Park in 2024. It reminds me of how the "Crawling in my Skin" days.
You must construct additional pylons.
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Leo T_C_K
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Re: I might

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Hellkeeper wrote: Thu Jun 27, 2024 12:20 pm I'm amazed someone unironically illustrates their feelings with Linkin Park in 2024. It reminds me of how the "Crawling in my Skin" days.
*plays Crawling in my skin under your window very loud*

There, you asked for it.

That reminds me how one time (I told Delacroix about it) there was like a LOUDEST music match between our former landlord and zeur. The landlord played loud music with his car radio while washing the car and zeur also played music from the window and each time they made it louder and I was going crazy from it. It wasn't Linkin Park though...zeur doesn't like that, but still....

Delacroix would have solved it in a very edgy way...
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